First Lines Review: Five More Indie Books Battle for My Review List
First Lines Review: Five More Indie Books Battle for My Review List
As a book reviewer, I get sent far more books than I could ever read.
I wish I had unlimited time, but when a single novel can take a week—or longer—to finish, I have to be selective. That's where my First Lines series comes in.
Instead of committing to an entire novel, I open the sample, read the first page, and ask one simple question:
Would this book make it onto my review pile?
For this installment, I looked at five more indie books submitted by their authors. Here's how their opening pages held up.
Broken Tomorrow: The Mother
This book opens with a prologue titled Day Zero, and its first sentence is wonderfully simple:
"Blood floated. A drop of it."
Immediately, questions start forming.
Why is the blood floating?
Where is it?
Whose blood is it?
That's exactly what a first line should do—it makes me curious enough to read the next sentence.
Since many readers skip prologues, I also checked the beginning of the main story.
The opening of Chapter One introduces Samantha returning home through the forest. The writing paints a clear picture, but there's one problem that immediately stood out to me.
The entire opening paragraph is one lengthy sentence.
I understood what the author was trying to say, but by the time I reached the period, I had already mentally broken it into several smaller sentences.
Long sentences can absolutely work, but when they become entire paragraphs, they often slow readers down instead of pulling them into the story.
Verdict: Strong prologue, but I'd hesitate if the novel continues with paragraphs made up of single, oversized sentences.
The Scavenger
Compared to the previous book, this one starts much more quietly.
Its first line is:
"The school bell rang to sound the end of science class."
Nothing dramatic happens.
No explosions.
No monsters.
No mysterious blood floating through the air.
But that's perfectly okay.
Not every opening has to shock readers. Sometimes a normal beginning works because it's clear, easy to follow, and allows the story to build naturally.
There wasn't anything that made me stop reading, so I'd happily continue another page or two before deciding whether to review it.
Verdict: A solid, straightforward beginning.
Chaos and Retreat
The first sentence reads:
"A red and blue landscape cut with splashes of burnt purple ambled its way to a horizon that was impossibly close."
This is one of those openings where the author clearly wants readers to absorb the setting before meeting any characters.
That's a perfectly valid stylistic choice.
It's just not my favorite.
Personally, I connect with people long before I connect with landscapes. If the next sentence quickly introduced a character, I'd happily continue.
If instead I found another page of scenery with no one actually doing anything, I'd probably move on.
One other thing influenced my first impression.
I wasn't particularly drawn to the cover. While covers shouldn't determine whether a book is good, they absolutely affect whether readers pick it up in the first place.
Verdict: On the fence.
Unbind
This cover immediately appealed to me.
It has a clean, anime-inspired look with black, gray, and small touches of red that instantly caught my attention.
The prologue begins with dialogue:
"Dr. Ambrosia, are you sure about this?"
Excellent.
Right away we know:
- There are characters.
- They're inside a laboratory.
- Someone is nervous.
- Something important is about to happen.
Dialogue immediately pulls me into the scene.
Since this was only the prologue, I also checked Chapter One.
The opening introduces Mr. Ambrosia being stopped at the library because he forgot his school ID.
The sentence is a little longer than I'd personally write, and I probably would have split it into two pieces to improve the flow. Still, it remained easy to understand and didn't interrupt my reading experience.
Verdict: I'd definitely keep reading.
The Reviled: Dark Café
This book opens with a preface containing a single thought:
"The only way to achieve peace is to become peace."
It's philosophical and makes you pause for a moment.
Whether or not you agree with it, it's enough to make you wonder how that idea connects to the story.
Chapter One begins with:
"The afternoon was warm and full of birdsong."
Again, we're starting with setting.
As I've mentioned in several of these reviews, setting by itself rarely hooks me.
I want characters.
I want interaction.
I want to know who's experiencing that warm afternoon and why it matters.
Looking farther down the first page, I noticed something else that immediately caught my eye.
No dialogue.
Whenever I don't see dialogue anywhere on the opening page, I become concerned that I'm about to read several pages of exposition before meeting the people I'll actually be following.
For readers who love immersive descriptions, that's wonderful.
For me, I'd rather the setting be woven naturally into the characters' actions.
Verdict: I'd keep reading for another page, but I'd need the story to introduce characters fairly quickly.
What I've Learned After Reviewing So Many Opening Pages
One thing these videos have taught me is that I almost always gravitate toward the same kinds of openings.
The books that grab me tend to:
- Introduce a character immediately.
- Begin with dialogue or action.
- Raise questions instead of answering everything.
- Ease readers into the world rather than explaining all of it upfront.
That doesn't mean descriptive openings are wrong.
They simply appeal to a different reading style than mine.
When I open a book, I want to meet someone before I meet the scenery.
Final Thoughts
This batch had a bit of everything.
Some books relied on mystery.
Some focused on atmosphere.
Others threw readers directly into conversations or tense situations.
If I had to pick the opening that hooked me the fastest, I'd probably give it to Unbind. Starting with nervous dialogue inside a laboratory immediately created questions I wanted answered.
Broken Tomorrow deserves credit for an intriguing prologue. Floating blood is certainly one way to get a reader's attention.
As always, these reviews aren't meant to judge an entire novel by a single sentence. They're simply a fun way to look at what makes readers curious enough to turn the page.
And sometimes, that's all a great first line needs to accomplish.
Would your favorite book have passed the First Lines Test? Let me know in the comments—and if you're an indie author who'd like your book featured in a future First Lines video, send your Amazon link to darkwhimsicalart@gmail.com. Your opening sentence might be the next one that earns a spot on my reading list! 📚👻